Introduction

And now I'm scared to sleep at night,

When these dreams take hold of me.

But the one thing I won't admit is,

That they're not all I see.

It's patchy vision, most of the time,

But there's no one there with me.

No second witness, no second eyes,

As the visions start to flee.

Know

Oh I wish that I could hold you

And tell you how lovely you are.

How lucky I am.

Then never let go.

Complex

This feeling is back, this panic's attack,

And it feels like I'm falling with no one to catch.

So I hold my head strong and bear my eyes wide,

But I can't keep down this poison inside.

Inertia

Do you remember when you were my boat,

And I was the sea?

Were you lost as you rode on top of me?

Beautiful

The next morning I looked at the city's black halo,

In the wake of that toxic volcano.

It was after your death but I wanted you to know;

I finally looked and saw the rainbow.

Transient

You were never my wolf,
You were never my saviour.
You were merely a passing: last week's flavour.

Accused

Ring, ring. Your phone starts to sing,

A voice wants to know if the dealer's in.

Tick, tick. It's paranoia's click,

Wondering how she got your digit.

Tick, tock. Her act won't drop,

And all you want is the questions to stop.

Abandoned

In August one night, my Cabbie said

"Don't cry! Everything's going to be alright."

That was the night I dropped my sapphire down the sink

And cried through the night, clawing at the U-bend.

I woke up the next day, still in tears

And realised that's what love was always going to be like.

Hot

Did I sleep til Spring?
I knew I'd missed something.
Now Summer's heat
Envelops the street
Hungry for something living to eat.
I guess I'll hide
Too hot outside
Watching and waiting while others thrive.

Thief

You stole my soul,

Destroyed my physique.

You made me this girl who was quiet and meek.

You broke me down,

Then broke my heart.

It hurt so much to fall apart.

But now you're back,

Condemning my scene.

I've finally moved on, why can't you see?

I can't stand that you stole my identity,

I wish you'd stopped. You could never take the hints,

But I know that you stole my finger prints.

Parades

Are you haunting still?
It took a while but I wrote that will.
But each night when you visit your spirit shakes my hold,
So I go right back and I write it in bold.
There's nothing of me left to be yours
So leave me alone, no more ghosts at my doors.

Solitude

"You were the only person who ever made me feel complete,"
You said, through inappropriate means.
You said you "wished you'd fought, more," for me.
But how is that fair, my fickle "friend",
When now it's you and her, "til the end"?
Well I've now moved on, I know you'll groan,
But I think you deserve to be on your own.

Young

Even in the darkness he tasted like sunshine,

Smelt like salt and had arms stronger than the tide.

All he had to do was pull me under.

Autumn

We drove upstate today, in silence.
I saw the red-orange leaves, fallen from trees,
And realised it was winter. I didn't see the leaves fall at home.
Did I miss Autumn? You were off flying overseas,
What was my excuse?
The leaves had fallen and I was busy, hallucinating, off my face,
Too busy distracting myself to notice the seasons change.

Ecchymosis

Finally, I'll admit it, it's true:

I'm black and blue all over you.

But here I am, without a clue,

Are you bruising for me, too?

Coverup

"I'll love you just the way you are," he whispered, "if you're perfect."

And so I tried and I tried to be perfect.

Self medicating day in, day out,

Starving myself to the bones and beyond.

Dying and ripping and covering,

Dripping concealer over who I really was.

Heart Breaker

You were in my dreams again last night,

And I couldn't stand your face.

Everywhere I go, I always see your face.

I loved you so much and I know you felt the same,

Yet you hurt me so and I'm the one you blame.

Solitaire

For a girl afraid of her own shadow,

She sure acts tough.

She clenches her fists, acts bravado,

But is that really enough?

Dry Spell

A month without lips.

Two months counting, no hips.

Toes on the line, biding my time

When I find what I want, I'll make it mine.

Bleary

At first the drugs were to take away the pain

That fuzzy sensation of peace, like a blanket, enveloping.

But the pain kept coming back, tenfold,

Until, gradually, it was the pain and the loss, that enveloped.

Capsule

I'm almost out of sleeping pills.

How will I sleep against my wills? 

The sun it sets and the night is dark

But I cannot rest my mind or heart.

I don't know how I'll sleep next week:

I'm out of pills to make me sleep.

Fissure

Now when I stop trying, the flesh seems to melt;

Too small for my skirts, too small for my belt.

I've never felt heavier then I do today,

I never wanted us to end this way.

Olympian

At the front of a dance floor. In front of the booth.

I met a Greek God and here's my proof:

Chiseled by the greatest, he's meant to be the fakest.

But he's more real than stone and stronger than bone.

He's got dark brown hair and ripped golden flesh:

And I think he's ready to take my test...

Hope

And it's only when she's flying that she doesn't feel down,

So the drugs kill her slowly while she's painting the town.

She lets herself go as they ease through her mind,

Leaving the memories and the tears behind.

Thomas

With your inebriated brain and your arrogant heart,

You thought you didn't need me and weren't you smart?

Now you say you that love me, that you need me back,

Do you really expect me to "cut you some slack"?

It's all sugar coated, the things that you say,

But why would I want you, either way?

It's so hard to be brave, it's so hard to be nice,

Was it really worth it for that fleeting tryst?

Now everything's over and we're so far apart,

When all that I wanted was you, from the start.

My tears have ended and there's not much of me left,

But it feels so good to have you off my chest.

Betrayal

You tore my heart into so many pieces,

I never knew I could be so speechless.

But now that I'm so torn apart,

The only sound is this beating heart.

Cheat

How could you hurt me in the one way I would never hurt you?

How could you break that one thing left, the one thing that would lead me to success?

Rattled

She feels like she's falling,

So she takes his prescription.

That's when he starts to crave a little friction.

He spins her round, he grips her hand,

She never could quite understand...

Spaced

She's coked up, gets choked up

So she drinks down, gets fucked around.

She's such a mess, can't take the stress

So she takes a pill, goes for the kill...

Unisom

I drug myself to sleep

And struggle then to rise.

It's not much of a living

But how else to survive?

Hidden

At the bottom of bags and deep in my phone,

I keep finding notes of misery's moan.

I can't stop the voices, all through my head,

I can't keep it down, this bubbling dread...

Trainer

I met you a night I was floating on glass,

I struggled to feel but could sense your pass.

You always look good when I'm a mess,

You always sound good, your voice's caress.

Toronto

Will I make my flight?

I couldn't sleep last night. In this big empty bed, all alone, brimming with dread. I cradle my bones as this strange city moans, I wish you could hold me, take me home.